So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
