just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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