i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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