Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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