She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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