Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
