I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
