I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
