if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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