There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
