Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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