My boss' voice literally gives me gas
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
