I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
