Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
