If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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