I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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