All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If I die, sorry about rent.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
