no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
