is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
