he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
