the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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