new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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