i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
