Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
