I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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