I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
