ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he thought i was a dude.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
