I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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