ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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