my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think I sprained my soul last night
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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