my mouth tastes like poor choices
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
