All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
