Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
