she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
