If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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