These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
