i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
