singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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