im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
