Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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