It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
