In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
