considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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