Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
