We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
