I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
