Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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