He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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