Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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