he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
